


Coming Home

by e_riley232



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-21 11:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3690717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_riley232/pseuds/e_riley232
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been ten years since Stefan Salvatore returned home and everything had changed. Damon was happily married to the love of his life and they had a brand new baby. The urge to leave again was stronger than ever. </p>
<p>But when tragedy strikes and he needs to come home for good, he realizes there's more to life than obsessing over the past. Responsibility is thrust upon him and the only person available to help is the blonde beauty he briefly met at the bar. Maybe this is his chance to find something better than true love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stefan Salvatore drove by the _Welcome to Mystic Falls_ sign, not believing he was back in his home town. He was coming home to visit his brother and sister-in-law after being away for ten years. Of course he visited occasionally, but this was going to be first time he was back and meeting the newest addition to the family - his niece. Most of the residents found it entertaining, his family was known to have caused a lot of ruckus similar to a soap opera.

Back in his high school days, he had the most perfect girlfriend - Elena Gilbert, eldest daughter of one of the founding families. Perfect up until she fell in love with his older brother Damon. Elena was tough to get over, just ask her first boyfriend, Matt Donovan. But not impossible. It may have taken years and a lot of distance, across the country to be exact, in order to do just that, but years ago he finally had come to terms with their relationship. He couldn't blame Elena or his brother for what happened, and it was better to move on with his life than to obsess over the past.

So here he was, back in the town he called home during high school and in front of the massive family home his parents bought what felt like centuries ago. He parked his car in the drive way and walked towards the front door. Damon had given him his own key, but he didn't feel right using it; so instead, he knocked.

"Stefan!" Elena had been the one who opened the door. Of course fate took what he wanted and made it the exact opposite. "Oh, Stefan, we missed you! It is so good to see you!" She wrapped him in a hug and kissed him on the cheek. "Come in, come in. Honey, Stefan's home!"

Home, was it normal to feel like a guest at home? He walked through the foyer, always thinking it was a little dark for his own liking, but he wasn't the one that needed to live here. Especially when what used to feel like a mausoleum was now covered with all things baby. Who knew a newborn could need so many things?

"Brother," Damon emerged from stairs and swooped Stefan in a big hug. "We missed you. You look good."

"Mature," Elena added, picking up the toys from the floor. "Your old bedroom is all set with fresh sheets. We're all ready for you."

"And what about that baby that you guys are constantly raving about," Stefan said, his arm still around Damon's shoulder.

"You mean Lily? I just got put her down for a nap. She is a nightmare to put down," Damon whispered.

Elena turned to glare at her husband, "But completely worth it."

"Yes, definitely completely worth it."

Jeez, it felt like the Brady Bunch. He may have been over it, but this whole blissful marriage story that they were playing wasn't cutting it. And he had a full week of this. "Well, don't let me keep you two from cleaning this place before the party tomorrow. I'm going to settle in and then pop in to visit Matt."

"You sure? Because more hands equals less time," Damon said as Stefan made his way up the stairs. Once Elena turned back around, Damon gave Stefan a pleading look, mouthing _please._

Stefan ignored him and popped into his old bedroom. Memories rushed through him, particularly of him and Elena. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to stay here. He pushed those intruding thoughts away and placed his duffel on the bag. Maybe he'd be able to snag an invite from Matt, come up with an excuse and leave the two lovebirds alone.

"Hey," Elena popped her head in. "Just wanted to make sure you had everything. It's been awhile since you've been back. Does it feel different?" He kept his back towards her. "Listen, Stefan, I realize that this is weird. And it probably will always be weird. But we both have really missed you. Your bi-monthly calls don't do it justice. Hey, maybe you'll find someone on your stay here."

"To bring back with me to Washington? Probably not."

Elena nodded at his reluctance. "How about we take a peek in at Lily. Damon's serious, nothing is sweeter than a sleeping baby."

"How about tonight? I promised Matt I'd meet him at the bar." Elena nodded as Stefan rushed passed her. "I'll be back a little later, bye!" He had left before she could stop him.

**

Stefan opened the door to the Mystic Grille and couldn't help but laugh. Everything looked exactly the same, except his friend was the new owner. "What does a guy have to do to get some service around here?!"

Matt spun around and groaned, "I thought we got rid of you two years ago."

"I couldn't ignore family that much longer. And look at you, still working here bussing more tables. Jeez, Matty, I thought you'd move on like the rest of us," it was this type of playful banter that he missed. Matt Donovan, the most normal person from high school.

"Who said I didn't move on. I went from bussing tables to cashing in the cheques. And what's better than learning the town's secrets. There's something about bartenders that make residents trust them."

"So what do you know about the new parents?" Stefan shamelessly asked over a drink.

Matt shook his head, "Honestly? She's madly in love. Damon's terrified at pending fatherhood. But they're happy."

"That's great. Just….great."

"Hey, Matt. Can I get a dirty martini, please?"

Stefan turned and faced another blonde. While Matt busied himself with her drink, he took a swig of his.

She could feel his eyes on her, but she had had a long day and wasn't in the mood. "Can I help you?"

"Sorry, sorry. I just…I'm Stefan."

"And I am not interested."

Matt handed her her drink, "Care, be nice. How's your mom?"

"In remission, thank goodness. She kicked me out of the room, and I really just came here to have a drink by myself. I'm going to relocate to a private table."

"Well, that was the most blunt rejection I've gotten in awhile. I'm usually propositioned for sex."

"Welcome home, man," Matt laughed.

**

Stefan had let Matt return to work, but not before he had three more drinks. He wasn't drunk, but he was definitely feeling good. Before he left, he turned to check on the blonde beauty that had rejected him earlier that evening. She wasn't sitting by herself anymore, which comforted him for some odd feeling. He left the Grille and returned back to the house. Damon was coming out of the basement, "Nice to see you again. Wasn't sure if you were coming back."

"Sorry. Did I miss anything special?" Stefan asked.

"Oh nothing, except the dinner Elena spent most of the afternoon preparing. There's leftovers in the oven in case you're hungry."

Stefan didn't miss the tone in Damon's voice. "How about the baby? Is she awake?"

"Lily," Damon corrected. "Stefan, this is your niece, it's not some baby we brought home from the hospital. Try to act like a proper Uncle."

"You're right," he said. "I'm sorry. How is Lily?"

Damon sighed, "You're lucky." He led Stefan up the stairs into the nursery where Lily was laying in her crib. "You're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby, but i'll make it this one exception."

Stefan peered into the crib and was stopped breathless. "Damon, she's beautiful."

A look of pure love swept across Damon's features. "Isn't she? You know, Stefan, I thought I knew love with Elena and you. But when I saw her for the first time, held her for the first time, my whole life shifted."

"So it's true what they say, huh? Babies change everything."

Damon carefully picked the baby up and held her in his arms, "For the best. I would do anything for her."

"I'm happy for you, Damon. I am. You deserve this." 

"Here," Damon said, holding Lily out.

"Damon, no. I've never held a baby before."

"You better take your hands out, brother, or you're going to drop my baby. I'm not too fond of that," Damon warned.

Stefan held out his hands and copied Damon's stance. Her head just fit in his palm and she was so tiny. Lily stretched her neck out and made some sort of gurgling noise and as he adjusted Lily into his arms more comfortably, an alarming thought entered his mind - _This could've been his baby._

Stefan pushed that thought out of his head, "She's precious, Damon. Really. And you named her after Mom," he finally acknowledged. 

"Mom's lucky she has a beautiful name. And Elena liked it, so.... Listen, Stefan, I want to ask you something. I know it's early, but you're my only family left. You're my brother and we had some issues before, but I love you."

"Damon. Is everything alright?"

He laughed at the shock on his face, "Everything's great. I just...we want to get the papers filed in and we want you to be Lily's godfather. It's huge and it's unbelievable that I actually have a baby, but I don't trust anybody like I trust you. And i know that if something happens, my girl will be in the best hands."

"Nothing is going to happen," Stefan said as he looked down at his niece./p>

"Of course nothing is going to happen, but we still need an answer."

Lily nestled into the crook of Stefan's chest and Stefan smiled. Damon was right, a baby does change everything. It took that small gesture to steal his heart, and it was when Lily grabbed his pinky and held on to it when he knew he'd be wrapped around hers for life. "I'd be honored to be her godfather."


	2. Worst Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus, work and school got in the way. Finally finished my undergraduate Bachelor's degree, and waiting for my diploma, so more time to update!

By midafternoon, the party was in full swing. Stefan had a drink in his hand and was standing in the corner absorbing what was happening in front of him.

"You look like you're plotting someone's murder lurking in the corner like this."

Stefan broke out in a smile, "And here I thought you weren't interested in me." It seemed like his day was getting brighter already.

The blonde smiled, "I'm not. Why would I be interested in someone who hit on me in a bar?" She feigned disgust. "A guy who doesn't even remember going to high school with me?" Stefan choked on his beer. "Yeah, I think that's embarrassment showing on your face." She let him observe her features for any clue of recognition and when he remained silent for more than a minute, she threw him a bone. "Caroline."

"Caroline! Neurotic Caroline!" She couldn't help but laugh; it was an accurate assessment. "Yes, oh shit, I made myself look like a complete idiot, didn't I?"

"Kind of, yeah." She smiled, "I just wanted to come here and apologize for yesterday. I'm not usually that rude. I just had a completely horrible day and I was in desperate need of a drink."

Stefan nodded, "Understandable. And how's your day now?"

He was staring at her with interest in his eyes, "Better. So how's it being back?"

"Truth?"

"Always."

"I can't wait to leave."

Caroline's smile dissipated. This wasn't the Stefan she remembered. But also, she couldn't blame him. If it had been her who was summoned to come home to her ex-boyfriend's and sister's baby, she'd be miserable too. "Understandable," she said offering a smile.

He was soon called over for pictures and Caroline remained in the corner watching the stiffness of his posture. His smile was forced too, and she noticed the careful distance he applied between him and his family. He may have come home for a few days, but remained an outsider.

"I see that," Matt came up behind her.

"See what?"

"The way you're looking at him. Like he's your next project. Care, I thought you graduated from that after high school."

"I did. Of course, I did," she said defensively. Matt looked at her with disbelieving eyes. "Well, he's leaving so even if I did think about patching up the Salvatore brothers, I couldn't. He just looks so sad. I mean, a baby is here and no one should have that scowl on his face."

Matt chuckled, "You do remember Stefan, don't you? His middle name is broody."

That she knew. He spent all of high school perfecting his sexy smolder. But a part of her did feel for him. A lot has changed since he left, it was sure to be a lot to get used to.

** 

Luckily for him, the week in Mystic Falls flew by and before he knew it, he was ready to leave. Elena was standing beside Damon on the driveway with tears in her eyes.

"Don't be a stranger. Call us when you get back home, okay?"

"She became a mother just a week ago and she's already acting all maternal," Damon said giving Stefan a hug. "But she's right, you need to come back more often. Lily should see her godfather more than three times a year."

Stefan ignored all those remarks and nodded. "I'll do my best. I should go and catch my flight." He took Lily out of her push chair and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I'll miss you the most, yes I will," he cooed. "I'll talk to you guys, soon."

He may have wished to leave, but being on the road again made him feel sad. He was leaving home again, leaving behind the only family he had left. When Elena broke up him all those years ago, Damon was the one who was there for him. Yes, Damon always had feelings for Elena, but when it came down to it, brothers always came first for him. It was a characteristic Stefan wished he could emulate even now. But there was some lingering resentment which was the reason why he kept his distance.

Damon was the one who told him about Elena. It had been innocent at first, just platonic talks. But that at some point it became more than just friendship and the connection the two of them shared went beyond loving Stefan. Elena didn't hide it either, and it had taken a long time to get used to seeing them together. Damon even offered to be Stefan's punching bag, but how could do that? How could he hate his brother for falling in love. And how could he switch from loving Elena with everything he had to hating her? He couldn't. So he kept his feelings quiet. And he kept his distance, moving across the country to keep his head on straight.

But although he loved his new life in Washington, he couldn't help those nights where he wondered what life would've been like if none of it ever happened. If he was still in Mystic Falls. If he was still with Elena. Would it have been him saying goodbye to Damon on that driveway telling him to come by more often and visit his child?

But that wasn't his life. And he was now flying back home to Washington. Maybe he needed distance before, but too many years had gone by. Maybe it was time to finally, officially put the past behind him. Maybe he could take more trips out East to Washington, be a real uncle to his first niece. Maybe him and Elena could go back to friends and he could love Damon like a real brother. Maybe it was time for another big change in his life.

 **

It had been four months since he visited Mystic Falls, and true to his word, he was getting ready for another visit East. His job as general physician allowed him to take a few vacation days, especially when his partner was back from maternity leave. His schedule had cleared up and he was feeling excited about this trip.

He face-timed with Damon and Elena a couple times a month, and Lily was growing like a weed. She was starting to actually look like a tiny human as opposed to a newborn and just as she was growing, so Stefan's love for his niece.

Stefan was out in a bar with a few of his friends when a girl came up to him and offered to buy him a drink.

"What about if I buy you one," he countered and the mischievous look in her eyes glimmered. He was leaving tomorrow, so this could be his goodbye present. It was one of the good things about Washington - he loved women and women loved him back.

He took her back to his apartment, not wasting anytime. He had her naked and underneath him in no time. She was panting his name when his phone went off, but he ignored it.

It was in the middle of the night and Stefan heard his phone go off again. He groaned in his sleep and checked the flashing light. There were eight missed calls since the first one just two hours ago, and when he finally paid attention, it was a Mystic Falls area code.

Stefan got out of the bed and hit accept. "Hello?"

"Stefan! Finally!"

It was a woman's voice he barely recognized, "Who is this?"

She sniffed, like she was crying. "It's Caroline. Elena's friend. Stefan, there's been an accident. You should come home."

 **

By the time he arrived back in Mystic Falls, he had less than two hours of sleep in the last ten hours. Once Caroline had told what happened, he shamefully kicked the naked girl out of his bed and threw a few clothes in a duffel. He grabbed his wallet and called a cab to take him to the airport where he waited four hours for the earliest flight to Virginia, and then drove himself from the airport to the hospital in record time. He wasn't sure what he looked like or what he smelled like, but when someone gets news like he did, there wasn't any time to think, only react.

Stefan called Caroline when he landed and she was waiting in the lobby when he walked inside. Her eyes were bloodshot and he carelessly pulled her in for a hug. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah. All things considered." She led the way down the corridor and stopped in front of a door. It was marked for Elena. "She's not."

"Does she know?" Caroline nodded, "Okay. Can I go inside?"

He opened the door and saw Elena sitting up in her bed. There were cuts on her face and she had a sling around her arm. "Elena?"

Elena looked up and her eyes widened In shock, "Stefan, what are you doing here?"

Stefan took a seat next to her on the bed and took her bruised hand in his, "Caroline called me. I came as soon as I could."

"Damon's going to be so happy to see you. We were just talking about you in the car, how we missed you."

Her eyes were wide open, but her teeth were chattering. She was in shock. "Elena, do you remember what happened?"

"Of course I remember! Damon and I were in a car and we were driving, talking about you. And the car skidded on the side of the road and a truck hit us. But we're fine. Damon and I are fine, nothing but some cuts and bruises."

Did he really need to be the one to tell her. "Elena, you are fine. But Damon wasn't."

"Stop," she ordered. "Stop saying that. Caroline keeps saying that, but Damon is in the next room and he's fine. He's fine!"

She had his hand in a death grip and he was trying to pull it away, "Elena, calm down. Look at me, focus on me. Damon's gone."

"No. No, Damon can't be gone. Okay, he promised we were going to be together forever. He promised! He's fine. Stefan, it's okay, he's fine!" Elena smiled. "He's fine. Damon is fine!" But the smile soon turned into a sob. "Damon's fine!" She cried. "He's fine. He's…oh my god…Damon is fine." Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head.

He wrapped an arm around her, but she pushed him away. "Stop! No, no, don't hug me! My husband is okay! Stefan, please, just tell me he's okay. Just tell me he's okay!" Stefan shook his head and tried to pull her into a hug, but she resisted again. "No! No! Please!" she cried, yelling and pushing away from Stefan every time he came close.

He had dealt with patients who had been in denial before, this wasn't anything new to him. But having it be someone in his family was completely foreign. Stefan didn't know what to do. "Caroline?" He called. She peeked inside and found Elena thrashing around. "Call a doctor," he ordered.

A doctor came inside quickly and sedated her. Stefan stayed with her until she closed her eyes and became still in her bed before he joined Caroline outside.

"She's been like that ever since they got here. Every time someone tells her Damon's gone, she goes…"

"Crazy?" Caroline just stared at him. "Where is he?"

"He was pronounced DOA. They took him straight downstairs."

Stefan walked passed her and went into the elevator hitting the button to the basement. It took him a few minutes to talk the doctors into letting him inside, but he did it. A part of him thought that maybe there was a chance Elena could be right. Maybe Damon was okay.

It took all of two minutes to realize he wasn't. He left without another thought; his brother was dead.

Caroline stood up when she saw Stefan. "I'm so…sorry."

He nodded, taking a deep breath. "Is Elena still sedated?"

"Yeah. She wont be up for another few hours."

"Where's Lily?"

"She's fine. She's with my mom. In light of what happened, she offered to take care of her as long as needed. Is Elena going to be okay? It's the second time she's been sedated in four hours."

"It's not a strong sedative, she'll be fine. I should go shower and get some coffee. Do you mind waiting here? Keep me posted?"

She nodded, "Of course. Stefan?"

He met her gaze, but couldn't answer. He left the hospital and sat inside his rental. But he couldn't start the engine. He couldn’t move. His brother was dead, and he was officially alone in the world.

 

Caroline waited until visitor hours were over. She had watched him get into the car, but he was still sitting there. He wasn't moving, just sitting still. She visited Elena when she had woken up. They didn't need to sedate her, she had taken the news just as well as any other widow would. She had fallen asleep just a little before visiting hours were finished and then she made her way to Stefan's car. She knocked on the window before letting herself inside. "Stefan," she let out a whisper.

"He's gone. The one person I've known longest in this world is gone. Damon finally had everything he wanted. He got Elena, he got a family. He was happy." Stefan leaned forward onto the steering wheel, dropped his head down. "He should be here," he breathed.

Caroline angled her body towards his and rested her head on his shoulder, an arm around his back. She had known Stefan all those years ago, the broody, serious Stefan. She had never seen him vulnerable or lost, and that was how to describe him now. He wasn't some 28-year-old adult, he was someone's younger brother grieving over a loss that hit him straight through the heart.

She sat with him in the car for a few minutes before he asked to see Lily. Caroline agreed and gave him directions to her house where her mother was babysitting. "Mom?!"

Liz Forbes came from the kitchen and froze at the sight of Stefan Salvatore. "Stefan.I am so sorry about Damon. He…we were friends."

Stefan nodded. "Mom, where's Lily?" Caroline chimed in, knowing Stefan wasn't ready to deal with the accepting condolences aspect of all of this.

"She's right over here," Liz walked them to the living room where Lily was sprawled atop the sofa bed, pillows surrounding every corner.

Stefan had a sharp intake of breath and carefully picked her up. Lily let out a cry, but it didn't take long for her to settle against Stefan's chest. She was much bigger than the last time he saw her.

Caroline stayed close, "She wasn't in the car with them. They asked me to babysit while they went into the next town. They always did that, some time every month, they would take the afternoon off and go driving. And then the police called me, I was the last number Elena called. The truck hit the driver's side, they think it was instant."

He started pacing the room, trying to get away from the story of his brother's death. He focused on Lily who was tapping Stefan's chest with her palm. He was bouncing her up and down and breathed in time with Lily. Surprisingly, it calmed him down.

"You can stay here if you'd like. Unless you want to go home."

Home? What was home? He thought he had a difficult time four months ago, but now he had no brother. His parents died long ago and he was alone. He wasn't going to step into that house for as long as he could. Memories in each room. He thought it was hard then, but what about now? Right when he was changing his attitude. 24 hours. That's all they needed to do - just wait 24 hours. Wait 24 hours for him to get back and then they could go on their rendezvous. Maybe he'd still be alive. "Thank you," Stefan said sitting down on the bed.


	3. Decisions

He obviously needed more sleep than he had. When Stefan had woken up, the sun was high up in the sky and Lily was no longer beside him. He got up and checked his phone, 3:48 in the afternoon. "Shit," he whispered.

Stefan entered the kitchen. Caroline was holding Lily on her hip and she was by the stove. She was singing lightly. He couldn't understand the words, but he heard the melody. A lullaby, most likely.

"You're up. I was just getting Lily down for her second nap. Elena called, they're discharging her tomorrow."

Stefan nodded and took a seat at the small table. "Where's your mom?"

Caroline turned the stove off and started pouring the milk in a bottle. "I hope you don't mind, but you were asleep and after the day you had; my mother offered to take on the legalities of the funeral. She signed off on his body and he's at the funeral home. I asked her to pick out a suit. I didn't think you wanted to go home just yet."

"Thank you," he said. She adjusted Lily and held the bottle for her. "How many naps does Lily have?" He never thought about it before. But surely now, he should know her schedule. He couldn't stay long at Mystic Falls, but he also couldn't just walk away. And knowing Elena's state, he would have to step up to the plate and take his place here for now.

Lily accepted the bottle happily, holding it herself. "Two. One after breakfast and one just after lunch."

"Can you show me? What to do, I mean?"

Caroline paused, "Of course." She motioned for him to follow her to the living room. "I had her nap earlier in my room. You looked so tired. But the sofa bed should be fine, if not I usually put her into the play pen." Caroline laid Lily on her back and held the bottle. "She's not too fussy. She usually goes down quick, but sometimes she likes it when I sing." Lily started kicking her legs upward while keeping her eye on Stefan. "She surely loves her uncle. Do you know what you're planning on doing? From your question, it sounds like you're planning on staying."

Stefan fit his index finger in Lily's palm and smiled, "For a while. I can't take an extended period of time off. I was planning on coming here anyway, so I have at least two weeks. But I can talk with my partner to extend it, maybe three weeks at most."

"I can pick Elena up if you'd like. Maybe let you spend some more time with Lily." He nodded and smiled when Lily's eyes began to drift close.

**

Caroline had picked Elena up from the hospital while Stefan waited at the manor. "Lily's excited to see her mom." Caroline had said with a smile. "You should've seen Stefan try to put her down for her nap today. It was a complete mess, but he's trying. And it's good that he's staying for a while; it's good you won't be alone," she rambled.

"Because my husband's dead," Elena said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Elena. It's going to be okay. Lily needs you, now more than ever. And one day, you're going to realize that the sun is still shining."

"Caroline, have you ever been married?" Caroline averted her gaze. "Then don't talk to me about grieving over his death." She got out of the car and opened the front door without waiting.

Since Elena didn't bother, Caroline got her bag out of the trunk and followed her inside. Stefan was carrying Lily as he came downstairs. "Where's Elena?"

She couldn't have been more than a minute outside, but as she looked around, Elena wasn't in the living room or the kitchen. "Elena?!" Caroline called out, and then they heard rummaging upstairs. Both Stefan and Caroline ran to the master bedroom where Elena was packing a suitcase. "What are you doing?"

"I think I'm going to take a few days off. Just for a few days."

Stefan looked over at Caroline, "Elena, the funeral is tomorrow," he said carefully.

She shook her, "Tomorrow? Who decided that?" She turned to Caroline with a glare. "Of course you did."

"Elena, you were still in the hospital, and somebody needed to take charge."

"Take charge? This is my life, Caroline. You can't just take charge of everything without asking. We're not some sort of project you need to work on. My husband is dead, and you went along and planned his burial without me. Don't you think I would want some say in that?"

"Hey, it's not Caroline's fault. I understand you're upset right now, but Caroline did what neither of us were ready to do. This is going to be a difficult day for the both of us."

Sensing the obvious tension in the room, Lily began to cry. Stefan started to bounce her in his arms, rubbing a hand on her back trying to soothe her. He noticed how Elena didn't even try to take her from him. It was almost as if her emotions were turned off. She didn't look sad or angry, she looked cold and numb, especially when she went back to packing immediately. Anger ripped through him, and he handed Lily over to Caroline. "Elena, stop! Stop!" he grabbed her hands and made her look at him. "Elena, what the hell are you doing?"

"I can't do this. I thought that when I would walk into my home, I'd be okay, but I'm not. Stefan, I can't even breathe in here."

"And what about Lily? What about your daughter? You're just going to walk out on her?"

Elena's heart was pounding in her chest, "I don't know! Stefan, please. I just need some time to process. It would've been easier if we both just died."

"Easier for who? Elena, I can't stay here to watch her. You can't just leave her. She's your responsibility."

Elena lowered her voice, "I can't even look at her, Stefan. What kind of mother can't even look at her own kid? Damon always wanted a kid, and we tried because we were going to do it. Together. We're not together anymore. He's not here anymore. I can't do it by myself."

Stefan shook his head, "You're not by yourself. You have Caroline, you have Bonnie, you have Matt and this entire neighbourhood who will help you. But you need to stay here for them to help you."

She zipped the duffel full of clothes and slung it over her shoulder. "Maybe I'll come back sooner than later, but I can't do this right now, Stefan. I can't. I'm sorry." She said as she backed out of the room.

Caroline walked into the bedroom with a confused face, "Elena?" But when she didn't respond, she looked at Stefan. He had his hands on his hips with the same expression on his face.

It seemed like the last ten minutes happened in two, and he had no idea what did happen. Elena walked into the house, packed a bag and left. He had no idea where she would go, maybe to Jeremy's place? But who knew? Elena was reckless at her worst, and she was capable of anything, that much he was sure of now more than ever.

It was just passed seven in the evening and Stefan and Caroline just finished their dinner. Lily was playing in Caroline's living room on the plush carpet, handing toys to Stefan. "So what happens now?" Caroline asked.

"Don't ask me, I'm just as clueless as you are."

"Maybe she'll realize that she can't miss the funeral tomorrow, and she'll come back. I mean, this is Elena we're talking about. No matter what, she won't miss Damon's funeral." A wave of uncertainty succumbed her, "Right?"

"Shit, I completely forgot about the funeral for a second," Stefan said, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I guess only time will tell."

**

The funeral had been just as dreadful as he imagined it would be. The sympathetic smiles, the pitiful words of wisdom -  _'He's in a better place now', 'He'll always be looking down on you, watching Lily as she grows up.'_ It was horrible and tiring. All he wanted to do was return to Washington and start anew. Strange how that was the original plan all those years ago. 

Caroline found him at the top of the stairs watching everyone milling around the living room. She smoothed her dress before joining him on the top step. "The morning of my father's funeral, I had stayed with Elena and Damon. It was in the middle of the night that I went to go get a drink when I found Damon in the kitchen. I had told him mindlessly that I just needed to get through today, the worst day of my life. But then, Damon made me realize that the day of the funeral and the day after would be the easiest. He told me that nobody would want to leave me alone, and they'd all make casseroles for when I didn't feel like cooking. Damon said that the worst day was still coming. It was when all that was left was silence."

Stefan took a long swig of his drink, "Damon and I have some experience with loss. I just never thought that I would have to go through his. Does it get better? I was just a kid when I lost my parents. Damon suffered the most, I saw it. But I don't remember much."

Caroline shook her head. "It doesn't get better. It gets easier, though. You realize that you can't live the rest of your life sad." She placed a hand on his back before returning back to the so-called party downstairs.

It was hours before the house was empty of visitors and quiet. Caroline collapsed onto the couch next to a very drunk Stefan. He had started drinking after dinner and it seemed like he emptied the liquor cabinet in a matter of hours. She grabbed the bottle from his limp hand and took a swing. "You know what I can't stop thinking about?" She turned her attention onto his slurring words. "Damon hated this town. And yet, he chose to stay here; settle down, get married, pop out a kid. You want to know why? Elena. He fell in love with Elena here. I always knew it. Elena came over one day, and he saw her and instant connection. I was too blind to see it. My own brother wanted what I had. I was blind to it for so long, and then poof, three years later Elena and I sat on front porch. She couldn't admit she loved him, but I saw it. I saw it in her eyes; she loved him more than she loved me. A week later they got together and I hated him for it. He was my brother and he took what was mine."

"So you left."

"I left," he confirmed. "And the next time I came home was to attend their wedding. The town that I wanted to call home for the longest time became the last place I ever wanted to be. And the place he always wanted to leave now became his home. And now Elena can't even bear to stay at this place. Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Stefan, what are you going to do?" her voice was gentle.

"Caroline, don't ask me that," he spat. 

"Elena told me that you signed papers. You say it yourself, you're Lily's godfather."

"Yes, I signed documents. But you sign documents thinking that you're never going to actually have to go through with it," he stood up and began pacing the living room. The words were out, words that even he didn't want to admit himself. 

She leaned forward, her arms resting on her thighs. "So you're saying that you don't want to do it."

"It's not that I don't want to do it. It's that I can't. Listen, okay, those papers, that agreement, it says that I need to step up in the unfortunate event that both parents die. Damon died, but Elena is still here."

"But she's not," Caroline reminded him. "Stefan, Elena walked away and we don't know when she's coming back; so as of right now, Lily has no parents. She  _is_ in the unfortunate event where she lost both her parents." _  
_

"Look, I can't, okay. My life isn't baby-friendly. Before Lily was born, I had never even held a baby. I work odd hours, and sometimes all day long. When I'm not working, I'm  _out_. There isn't any room in my life for a baby. And even if I could commit to being a parent 24/7, I would be the worst person for the job. I can't even keep track of my car keys." Caroline gave him an incredulous look. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"I know what you're thinking," he said, remaining standing. his hands on his hips. 

Caroline blinked, "You do?"

"Yeah, I do. You think that I'm a selfish bastard. What kind of person can I be that I'm putting myself above that innocent child upstairs. But guess what, that's exactly who I am. I am not father-material. It is taking everything in me to run out that door."

"Do you love her?"

"Lily? Of course I love her, but..." he turned his voice into a whisper. "I'm not what she needs. She needs someone like...like you. You know how to make a bottle, you know how many naps she needs. You even sing to her. Me, if she's left to me, I would probably forget her in the back of the car, or forget to pick her up from daycare." He fell next to her and rubbed his face. The exhaustion from the last few days were catching up with him. 

She angled her body towards him, "Stefan, you say that now, but she's a human being. I see the way you are with her, you're kind and gentle and you love her with everything. When I called you, you rushed back to Mystic Falls because you love your brother. At the hospital, you stayed with Elena until she calmed down. You stayed here when Elena ran off because she couldn't handle the misery of losing her husband. That is not a selfish person." He scoffed at her words. "Look, it's completely normal to be scared at the thought of taking care of Lily. If you weren't terrified, I'd be worried. But, that's the whole point in loving someone unconditionally - you would do everything it takes to keep them safe."

Stefan lifted his eyes to look at her, "You really think I'm capable of taking care of someone else."

"Yes," she answered simple. "Look, I'm not saying you need to become Lily's dad. I'm saying that you should stay here until Elena comes back. You are the closest thing that baby has to a real family. I would understand that if you don't want to raise Lily, but if you _do_ , and you're just scared; that's not a reason why you can't." She took a step back, wondering what on earth she was doing. Did she really think Stefan was capable of raising a child? Did she really have that much faith in someone she hardly knew? But then again, would Stefan even remember this conversation in the morning?

But when she looked at him and could physically see him thinking about his options, the answer was clear - _Yes._ She took his hand in hers and offered a small smile. "There's a reason why you're still here and you didn't run away."

He sighed. "I'm going to go upstairs before I pass out." Caroline nodded. "Thank you for today. I wouldn't have done it without you. And...thanks for...thanks for everything." 

Stefan walked upstairs and opened the door to the nursery. Lily was fast asleep on her back, arms sprawled like a starfish. He used his index finger to stroke her cheek and her lip twitched. Could he really do it? Take care of a baby? He didn't know anything about children, but he knew he needed to try. At least until Elena came back. 

 


	4. Official Return

It had been two weeks since Damon's funeral and Elena still hadn't returned. Stefan was holding Lily in one arm while using his other hand to hold his cell phone to his ear. "Yes, I know I said two weeks, but I can't leave right now.... I don't know how long I'm going to be here, maybe a month. Maybe two. I can't just leave my niece to complete strangers.... I understand I have responsibilities, but I also have responsibilities here. Listen, my brother died and his wife isn't capable of taking care of a child right now.... I'll call you in a few days when I have more to tell you.... Alright, bye."

He clicked  _end_ on his phone and looked at Lily who was trying to reach for the phone. But the sizzle behind him interrupted his thoughts. "Shit!" The water overflowed over the top of the pot and he turned the stove off before lifting it above the stove top.

It was the first night he was left alone, and just as Caroline had told him, everything was already falling apart. Caroline had given him a list of everything that needed to be done, including Lily's schedule - _7 am, give Lily a bottle. 7:30-7:45; tummy time._ What the hell was tummy time?  _8am, Breakfast (baby food is in the pantry); 8:30am, play time. 9-9:15, Another bottle; 9:15-11am, wake Lily up and more play time._ It was a schedule all lined up until 7pm, where Lily would have her last bottle and then off to bed. Stefan figured he needed an alarm clock just to keep everything straight. 

He began heating the milk in the boiling water just as another note Caroline had given instructed. He submerged the bottle, but accidentally added one of his fingers. "Shit!" He repeated again. He really needed to watch the swearing. 

In his other arm, Lily was clapping and laughing. Apparently his pain and misery was funny to her. He wasn't sure how this first night was going to go. Caroline would come and spend the nights, and some nights, Caroline would take Lily. She thought it'd be better if he was eased into the routine, but he had to be honest, he didn't pay much attention.

But as he was laid her down in her crib with her bottle and she stared up at him with those hazel eyes, he couldn't help but be thankful he listened to Caroline and decided to stay. She finished her bottle and Stefan gave her a kiss before closing the curtains and closing the door behind him.

He came down the stairs just as there was a knock on the door, and made sure the baby monitor was on. There was some spit up on his shoulder that he desperately needed to change out of, and the house needed a cleaning, but other than that, he needed to see another face that didn't belong to the baby upstairs. He sighed in relief when he saw Matt. "Oh, thank god!"

"Caroline told me you were staying. But I didn't believe her when you didn't show up at the bar for a stiff drink," Matt said pushing his way in.

"My drinking days are long over. I haven't stepped outside other than heading to the grocery store; I forgot what the outside feels like."

"And how's domestic life?" he asked, eyeing the toys lying on the ground.

Stefan grabbed a shirt from the clean pile of laundry just off the kitchen. "Honestly? It's kicking my ass. I'm kind of just hoping Elena comes to her senses soon enough so I can get back to my normal life."

Matt's face softened, "Caroline told me about that, too. She just left?"

"Left, hasn't called. I mean I get it, being a single parent these last two weeks have been the hardest, but you'd think the bond between mother and child would be stronger." He sighed. "Anyways, what can I do for you, man?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to head out, maybe get a drink. But I can see that you have more domestic chores to take care of. Where is the little nugget, anyways?"

Stefan began clearing the hallways of plastic toys, "She's upstairs thankfully down for the night."

"So how much longer do you think you can stay?"

"I just spoke with my partner and she's up to her eyeballs in paperwork. She can't have me keep asking her for more time off. I think I need to take a sabbatical." He rubbed his face and groaned, "I would do anything for Lily. I just didn't think I needed to be her parent."

"Well, the offer stands, man, anything you need - a babysitter, a bartender -" he joked, "You name it and I'll be there."

"I might take you up on that."

Matt started helping picking up the toys, "I think it's great that you're doing this."

"You don't think I'm crazy? What do I know about kids?"

He laughed at the scribbled schedule, "Seems that you're learning a lot."

**

By the time the dishes were finished and he did another load of laundry, it was 11:30 when he took a shower and headed for bed. The minute his head touched the pillow, he felt himself drift off to sleep; only to be woken up by a screaming baby. 

Stefan cranked his eyelids open and grabbed his phone on the nightstand -  _2:16, FEED BABY!_ He got out of bed and opened the door to the nursery. Lily's face was contorted with sorrow and big tears streaming down her face. He picked her up and rubbed her back soothingly, just as the books instructed, but she didn't calm down. He walked downstairs, grabbed the bottle from the refrigerator and popped into the microwave. When the minute was up, he adjusted Lily and fed her the bottle. But after thirty seconds, she was screaming again. "Lily, honey, first words would be great right about now. What do you want, sweetheart? Is your diaper full?" He walked her to back to the nursery, but her diaper didn't need changing; he changed it anyway. He sat in the rocker and tried the bottle again, but Lily resorted to punching his chest. "What do you need?" he groaned in frustration. 

He checked the clock,  _2:42_. Stefan relaxed in the chair and took three long, deep breaths. If everyone from Washington could see him now, father to a baby that wasn't even his. But that little fact didn't matter so much, because he loved this baby so much. He loved her enough that he started singing. Stefan wasn't sure what song he was singing, or how he knew the words, but he was singing and Lily stopped crying. It was the most glorious sound. Silence. Her eyes were wide awake and she was staring up at him. And if he stared long enough, he caught glimpses of baby smiles. Stefan tried feeding her again and she took the bottle into her own hands. 

He carried her into his room, because he was desperate need of a bed, and laid her down in the center. He took the pillows and surrounded her in a nest of pillows. Stefan propped himself up on his elbow and was surprised at his own fascination with Lily. He hadn't spent any time with her like this. Maybe because the emotions surrounding the situation were suddenly enveloping him. Lily was never going to see her father again. And her mother was nowhere to be found. He took the moment, where her eyes were drifting closed and her hold on the bottle was weakening, to lean in close and nuzzle her cheek, "I'll never leave you," he whispered. "You can count on me, Lily. Always." It was as much of a promise to himself as to her. In his entire life, he didn't have responsibilities. He barely had to take care of a pet. But as of this moment, he would be whatever Lily needed him to be, no matter how hard it was going to be, how frustrating he was going to get, he was going to be there every step of the way. 

**

After being on the telephone for almost eight hours straight, Stefan was in desperate need of a beer. And some fresh air. He waited until Lily was napping before he carefully placed her into her stroller, and hoped the walk would keep her asleep. Despite knowing a bar was no place for a baby, his need for a drink won out; and Lily was sleeping, so how was she going to know?

Stefan was welcomed with the sound Matt's laughter. "They keep getting younger and younger; I'm going to have to start ID-ing."

"Funny."

"Jesus, it seems like you only get worse every time I see you. What's going on with you, man?"

He scrubbed his face with his hands and stretched them out. "What? I don't look like your new neighbor?"

"What? What does that mean?"

"I just spend the last eight hours on the phone, signing off my lease, and signing off my practice. You're looking at the newest resident of Mystic Falls."

"Holy shit. You're staying? For good? Damn it, welcome back! So you're really going to do this?"

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but yeah, I'm doing it. I'm home."


End file.
